I did it. I quit. I am finally a free woman.
Today, without much hesitation or emotion I, Sophie Edmonds, deleted Tinder from my phone. Astounding I know. I am shocked at my lack of feeling over the whole ordeal.
Enough was enough, I found myself wasting my precious brain power and idling my time away coming up with half arse responses to some rather losery remarks. The talent now is weak, I am convinced it declined as soon as the Android version came on the scene - only ugly people don't have iPhones.. JOKES - slash is this secretly the truth? Ok maybe not, I know some highly attractive individuals who are misguided in their smartphone choices, I can overlook that minor flaw though. Ok so the talent was weak, the chat was repetitive and after I think 27 first dates enough was enough.
I have met some really awesome people on Tinder, a handful I am still friends with. I have so many hilarious stories that begin with "that one time I was on a Tinder date..", many of my friends are trying to get me to write all of them down. After dating what seems like half of Auckland's hospo scene, more engineers than I care to remember, a couple of those mysterious, brooding creative types (:P) as well as a handful of crazy I think I can safely say I now know what I do and do not like. This I feel is a valuable life lesson in itself. I literally have sampled the whole gelato bar, I can now make an informed future decision.
My life was like a Taylor Swift song jammed on repeat..Literally, just insert name of the moment into the blank space and you have a predictable story line. The plot line usually fluctuated between me liking someone way more than reciprocated or the reverse, neither scenarios working out too well for either party involved. Then feelings got involved and hurt and things just get messy and awkward. Ugh too many feelings. Who can be bothered with feelings?
The liberation is real I tell you. You should join me. It is refreshing. No longer can I be bombarded with weak pick up lines, pictures of men with headless animals or headless bathroom selfies of abs.
So I live with the determination that I will meet the man of my dreams in front of the milk fridge at the supermarket whom I will have an in depth discussion with over the price and/or spoilage rates of milk (Ps I shop at Countdown Quay St or Newmarket...) in the mean time I am just going to have to keep all this awesomeness to my greedy self.
The only problem with keeping my awesomeness to my greedy self is that I then I don't have young males to feed. I mean I could find plenty of males that need feeding but most of my guy mates are busy spooning their own ladies (who probably already cook for them).
Speaking of food and relationships, my friend and I were literally just talking about how this guy she dated always breaks up with his ladies after taking them out for brunch. I once got ditched after being bought ice cream. I got the "we need to talk" call whilst in the middle of making vegetable soup. Seriously guys, can you like please not give us negative emotional conditioning towards our favourite foods? I was almost unable to ever eat ice cream again. Do you know how much of a tragedy that would have been?! Not only is the whole tying food to heart break thing just wrong but using the same play on girl after girl, come on pal, be a little more original. Try breaking up with her whilst cleaning, or going to the dentist that way precious food groups are not at risk of being excluded from the diet. But anyway, that is a whole new kettle of worms to be devoured another day.
So for the mean time I am to share my food love with those whom I live with, my family and the odd friend who needs a late night dinner delivery. This recipe here is one that I not only fed my parents with when they came home from three weeks away overseas but a hungry gentleman with an empty/uninspiring fridge as well. Surprise surprise this recipe is adapted from my new favourite cookbook, My Underground Kitchen by Jess Daniell. I was originally not going to make it due to the stupendous price of aubergines at the moment but by some great strike of luck I found two aubergines at my vege shop for a very reasonable $1.99 each. With a price like this I knew it was meant to be, I set to making myself some babaganoush almost instantly.
This recipe consists of multiple layers, a base of pita, hummus, babaganoush, lamb mince, tomatoes and grilled capsicum and finally a good dollop of yoghurt and sprinkling of parsley. It looks rather impressive when you serve it up and literally all you do it slap it together. it was met with great enthusiasm by all parties involved in its consumption.
If you don't use all the babaganoush and hummus making these, they will easily keep sealed in a container in your fridge for up to a week.
Adapted from My Underground Kitchen by Jess Daniell
For the Lamb
600g lamb mince
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 teaspoons ground cumin
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon chilli flakes
Zest and juice of 1/2 lemon
Salt and Pepper
For the babaganoush
2 medium sized aubergines
6 cloves garlic, skin on
Juice of 1 lemon
2 tablespoons tahini
2 tablespoons olive oil
Small handful of parsley, chopped
Salt and pepper
For the hummus
400g can of chickpeas, drained
3 cloves garlic
2 tablespoons tahini
Juice of 1 lemon
1 teaspoon ground cumin
Up to 1/2 cup cold water
salt and pepper
5 large wholemeal pitas
4 tomatoes, diced
3-4 orange or red capsicum (roasted at 180 degrees for 30-40 minutes), sliced thinly
1 cup greek yoghurt
100g feta, crumbled
Large handful of fresh flat leafed parsley, roughly chopped
Small handful of fresh mint or coriander leaves, roughly chopped
Lemon wedges to serve
To make the babaganoush, place both aubergines on a lined baking tray witha sprinkling of salt and bake with the 6 cloves of garlic at 200 degrees C for 40 minutes. Once baked, remove the pulp from the skin of both the garlic and aubergine and transfer to a food processor. Whiz this together with the remaining ingredients until a roughly smooth consistency is achieved. Transfer to a clean container and refrigerate.
To make the hummus, finely chop the garlic up in the food processor. Add the chickpeas and the tahini then whiz to a chunky crumb has formed. Add in the cumin and the lemon juice and process to a thick paste. Add just enough cold water so that a smooth and spreadable hummus forms. Season with salt and pepper and a touch more lemon to taste. Transfer to a container and refrigerate.
To make the lamb mince, saute the garlic and the mince together with the spices until brown and no longer too wet and soggy. Grate in the lemon zest and juice and stir through. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
To assemble, warm each pita gently in the microwave for 20-30 seconds. Divide the hummus between each pita and spread to the edges then do the same with the babaganoush over the top. Pile the mince over the top of each followed by the diced tomato, sliced roast capsicum and feta. Place a good dollop of greek yoghurt over each and then a generous sprinkling of the chopped parsley and coriander/mint to finish. Oh and don't forget the lemon wedge!
(With company hopefully!)